Flower Bloomed in a Dark Room by Amani Fardan

Flower Bloomed in a Dark Room

Acrylic

I often think about this line from Kendrick Lamar's Poetic Justice: "If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?" and I think about myself growing up, literally, in this dark environment. I wonder what this place does to the underdeveloped psyche. I wonder how messed up I am. Psychologist says there's nothing wrong with me, but these people don't care about me. So in the meantime, like the owl, I look, listen and learn everything I can to help me grow and develop, even though I'm trapped behind these bars.

Meet the artist: Amani Farden

Amani Fardan

Identity Statement

I've been locked up for so long now that I don't think I have an identity that isn't prison related/associated. I've been behind walls longer than I was alive out there, and I'm only 32. I was gone before Facebook came out. MySpace was still hot. I don't wanna say I'm institutionalized because I'd never feel more comfortable/prefer to be in here than free out there, but everything I've learned since the age of 15 has been in here. I don't know how to do anything. I never got a chance to get my license, get a job, vote, pay any bills or taxes. I'm a ghost out there. I know what I'm not, though - I'm not this Menace II Society or monster that I was portrayed when I first came down as a kid. I'm still a person, and my life shouldn't be forfeited for my actions at an age when I wasn't allowed to do anything adult-related because I was immature, irresponsible, impulsive and all of the other traits associated with juveniles.

What role does art play in your life?

Art enables me to express how I feel, create something for someone I care about, and possibly make some money, supplement my income of $.50 an hour. Plus, it keeps me busy and out of trouble. I owe a big thanks to the art program here at Stillwater. I wouldn't have been able to develop my skills as an artist it it weren't for the program and the space it provided.

Previous
Previous

Sunset Lake by 7even Lu

Next
Next

Reflections in Isolation by Amani Fardan