Reflections in Isolation by Amani Fardan
Reflections in Isolation
(not for sale)
Graphite, ink and pastel
I spent 7 months of my seg time in the Administrative Control Unit in Oak Park Heights for a staff assault. Devoid of human contact, I was headed down a very dark path. My mindset was "what are they gonna do, give me more time? I already got life plus." I was 21 and hopeless. I couldn't see no future. There are times when I don't feel alive, or human, like I don't exist. What does it mean to be alive? I've experienced none of the things often taken for granted. This quote speaks to me because my life ended before it began, over something I did as a kid. By the time I'm released I'll be in my late 70's-80's; what am I supposed to do as an old man with nothing?
Meet the artist: Amani Farden
Amani Fardan
Identity Statement
I've been locked up for so long now that I don't think I have an identity that isn't prison related/associated. I've been behind walls longer than I was alive out there, and I'm only 32. I was gone before Facebook came out. MySpace was still hot. I don't wanna say I'm institutionalized because I'd never feel more comfortable/prefer to be in here than free out there, but everything I've learned since the age of 15 has been in here. I don't know how to do anything. I never got a chance to get my license, get a job, vote, pay any bills or taxes. I'm a ghost out there. I know what I'm not, though - I'm not this Menace II Society or monster that I was portrayed when I first came down as a kid. I'm still a person, and my life shouldn't be forfeited for my actions at an age when I wasn't allowed to do anything adult-related because I was immature, irresponsible, impulsive and all of the other traits associated with juveniles.
What role does art play in your life?
Art enables me to express how I feel, create something for someone I care about, and possibly make some money, supplement my income of $.50 an hour. Plus, it keeps me busy and out of trouble. I owe a big thanks to the art program here at Stillwater. I wouldn't have been able to develop my skills as an artist it it weren't for the program and the space it provided.